#i understood just fine(im fairly certain) im just ignoring it

[brains-out-rn]

I am upset

I can't whisper my thoughts in the tags how dare you op

To test tumblr’s reading comprehension…

you can do ANYTHING to this post, reblog, add polls, start a fuckin roleplay in the notes, like it, I don’t give a shit.

BUT

you can’t add tags

[dailyangelrant]

Things weighing heavy on my mind

- My breakup with Baz

- Getting with Ema

Confusion on where i lie with him. Does he actually like me or is he playing with my feelings?

- Lou + Cole hall people talking about it

I don’t understand why the Cole hall guys have to take it upon themselves to talk about me.

Lou gets upset with me because he thought that I was being weird and thinking he was liking me. Then calls Ema and Ema tells him that we got together and then Lou goes and tells Cole hall. I just wish they weren’t so concerned with my private life.

- Nick making me uncomfortable

He asks to hangout, he asked to go into a common room inside and they were all full so I brought him into my actual bedroom and then he gets into my bed and basically spends the entire night feeling me up. I wasn’t like astronomically opposed but I think I was uncomfortable and I didn’t want it. Thankfully nothing happened and we didn’t kiss but he kept trying to. We went to breakfast and he tried to go back to my room after that. I don’t want him in my life and im kinda disgusted with myself that I spent the night with him.

Update: I told him that I just want to be friends and he understood.

- Missing academic assignments + class

I’m not missing anything too huge but I’m missing my weekly quizzes for forensics, not doing my readings for democracy… things like that. I’m normally on top of those things but I haven’t been lately.

I’ve been so upset about the breakups with Sebastian that I haven’t been able to go to class. I’m usually just too sad or feel like I can’t get out of bed. Now my UW professor is recommending me to professionals?

- Not doing work for Pam anymore

I felt like Pam was pressuring me to continue to make posts. She asked me to make them once a day. When I said I was overwhelmed with school and couldn’t do that she then asked for weekly, which is fine. But then followed that up with “can you do it in 3 days” and I think I just kind of lost it. She seems very not understanding of circumstances that aren’t her own. I just couldn’t deal with her right now and I figured she wouldn’t be understanding of that, so no more Pam. Unfortunately, that didn’t provide that much relief in my life.

- Ciara — how to make sure to talk to her every day

with everything that’s been going on with Ciara, I just feel like she needs me there. I think it applies a certain level of pressure on me to reach out to her everyday and keep a constant connection going. It doesn’t really help that she doesn’t reach out to me first? So it’s a lot of pressure put onto me which isn’t fun.

- Terell — how to make sure he doesn’t feel ignored again

we are talking again because he called me and I feel good that we can chit chat. Just knowing he’s back in my life makes me feel good.

— Not knowing what to do about the summer in regards to a job

When I have the mental capacity to do so, I’ll look at more jobs again. I need to look at jobs, summer housing, and scheduling for next semester.

— Feeling like I’m lonely because I don’t have many friends to talk to

For some reason I’m fairly stressed about the fact that I didn’t make enough friends before the end of the year. Now the summer is here and I don’t know if I’ll have anyone to hangout with

— Guilt about messing with other guys

I know that they’re just rebounds for me but I still feel bad messing with other guys. I feel a little less bad now that I think baz was out with people.

— Devin texting me out of nowhere

This was so out of nowhere and I wish I knew his intentions. I don’t know if he was just bored or wanted to rekindle anything. We texted a little and he said things would’ve been different. I was on the phone with Mateo today and he told me that devin is in a relationship. That came as a surprise to me.

— The guy from criminology bothering me

I haven’t really seen him recently but there is this guy that sits next to me in criminology and I don’t like that he keeps taking to me + showing up at my work to talk to me.

Good things happening in my life

I have plans to hangout with Sophia on Saturday. We are going to to go dinner and then I guess hangout in my room and maybe watch a movie?

I reconnected with terell

My parents have been reaching out to me

I have a therapy appointment scheduled

[tintinwrites]

i’d rather be lonely | Javier Peña x Reader | Part Nine

A/N: I’m guessing y’all enjoyed the previous part!

Rating: 18+

Warning: Oral (F receiving). Naughty words. Mentions of a scar.

Word count: 2,849, apparently!!

Summary: You and Javier talk about what the two of you are doing.

Masterlist

GIF credit: @damerondjarin​

Tags: @thedevilwearsvibranium​ @bisexual-space-slut​ @thirsty-flygirl​ @shadow-assassin-blix​ @damndamer0n​ @huliabitch​ @damerondjarin​ @perropascal​ @mylifeliterally​ @no-thanks-lol​ @dee-vn​ @jenniferdaniels12​ @cinewhore​ @lokiaddicted​ @justabeautiful-letdown​ @shakespeareanwannabe​ @lackofhonor​ @katialvi​ @fangirl-on-bitches​ @im-an-angel-of-the-lord-you-ass​@darkbluenovember 

                                         -------------------------

You woke up to lips pressing slowly down your side and you smiled, knowing full well who was in your bed and being happy about it.

You and Javier had so much to make up for that you invited him back to your place where you fumbled in the dark then laid there in a tangle of limbs where you fell asleep together.

It was the first time in a long time that he’d stayed when sleeping with somebody, but you were different.

His eyes were hooded with sleep and lust when you turned your head to look at him, immediately trailing down to your breasts the moment you moved from your stomach to lay on your side.

“Good morning,” you said pleasantly, perhaps you would’ve been uncharacteristically giddy if you weren’t thinking about how you were going to need to talk about why you’d slept with the man you supposedly hated.

“Morning.” He leaned in to kiss you and even with your worry, you couldn’t help but kiss him back because he was good at it.

When his lips trailed down your chin, along your jaw, down your neck, moving towards your chest, you reluctantly put a hand on his shoulder to push him back. He obeyed the command without hesitation, but there was something in his eyes; concern, maybe, that you hated him again and it was just some sex to put all that pent up emotion somewhere.

Fuck, why did that make his chest squeeze like that when he’d done this with so many women before?

“I’ve been...I know I’ve probably been really frustrating to you and I want to talk this out with you to see what...what are we doing?” You finally asked, sitting up and grabbing the sheet from your lap to cover the breasts he’d been sucking on at one point.

“I don’t know...every time I think we’re doing one thing, you turn it around on me.” He propped up on his elbows, not meeting your eyes because he knew this conversation was necessary, but it was still awkward and something he didn’t often do.

“That’s what I mean, and I think I owe you an explanation that...that...when…” You closed your eyes for a moment, then looked at him even if he wasn’t looking at you. “When I was...shot...I saw the side of you that I didn’t want to, I saw that you were caring and thoughtful, and I liked that. I started thinking about how much of a mistake it was to assume things about you, how it might be nice to try and be friends or more, and then I went to your apartment and…”

“Ah, fuck.” He ran his hand through his hair, sitting up a little bit more. “I was wondering if that’s what this was about, because you saw me with her and I showed myself to be the jackass you knew I was.”

“No, Javi...seeing you with a prostitute when we were growing closer hurt and I...instead of letting myself be hurt, I went back to hating you because it was easier.” You picked at the finely sewn threads of the sheet awkwardly.

“Oh.” Javier simply didn’t know what to say to this, though there was something about you being hurt by the idea of him being with someone else that made him almost happy in a stupid way, knowing he was right when you mentioned more with you and that you genuinely wanted him.

The two of you fell silent for a long moment before he asked you,

“So, you wanna go back to hating me?” It was partly a joke and partly a genuine question.

“No, I don’t, but...I know this is usually a one time thing for you, so if you want to pretend we never did anything, then that’s fine, and I promise to be civil to you because I understand sex doesn’t make you a bad person seeing as I—” Your eyes widened when he pressed his lips to yours, then you slowly let them flutter shut as you kissed him back.

He pulled away after a moment and just admired the passion you put into the kiss, how your lips were still slightly pursed as if waiting for more. “I’m not that much of an asshole and...fuck, I don’t know, I want more than one night with you.”

You looked at him with a dreamy look in your eyes like you’d longed for him, which a part of you did, and you reached up to run your thumb across his chin. “Be straight with me, Javi, and tell me what you want out of this.”

“Why don’t we just try this out and see where we end up?” He knew you were using his nickname a lot more and it sounded so natural, so beautiful. “If you hate me, then we can break things off, or maybe it’ll be something more. No pressure.”

“No pressure. That means if you realize it’s too much commitment, you can run away.” You smiled, though you honestly were a bit worried that he would be scared and decide to leave you and you might be in love with him at some point.

Could you fall in love with Javier?

That was an idea you would’ve laughed at until there were tears in your eyes not long ago, but now it seemed like you could.

Like you would.

You understood being afraid of relationships in this line of work and maybe you’d put those things off because of more than independence, but it would break your heart if he treated you the way he often treated other women, the very thing you’d hated him for without seeing the man beyond the womanizing.

You were afraid too, obviously, of being hurt, whether it was by abandonment or…

You tried not to think of how dangerous this could be even if DEA agents weren’t supposed to be touched. You’d been shot, for fuck’s sake, which could easily happen again or happen to Javier.

You were afraid of pain or being taken advantage of or being seen as an object or many other things for so long that you ignored so many advances and now you were opening yourself up to the very man you’d hated for making them, which was terrifying itself.

Javier noticed the look in your eyes, smirking slightly. “I know I said no pressure, I didn’t think you’d leave that quickly.”

You were so wrapped up in your thoughts of being afraid yet wanting this that it took you a moment before you realized he said something. “Huh? Oh...no, I, um...I was just thinking about how…”

“About how…?” He prompted, raising an eyebrow high.

“I thought it was better to be lonely and angry because I wouldn’t be hurt that way, to lash out because I didn’t want to be seen as just something to fuck or...something to leave. It was easy to hate you because I wouldn’t let you hurt me, but you still did because I wanted this and...and, I don’t know, I thought I was okay being alone because of my job, but…” You met his eyes. “I think I realized when I thought of more with you that I’d rather not be lonely, you know?”

He chuckled, understanding you even if he wasn’t going to admit it.

You weren’t even sure you made any sense with your emotions being terrified even though you wanted this, realizing how lonely you’d really been now that you’d let yourself want someone.

“No pressure,” you reminded him softly, then looked down. “Can we...keep this between us for now?”

“—sure.” His hesitation made you look up to quickly reassure him.

“I’m not ashamed of you, okay? I know you’re a good man, it’s just that I don’t really know if this is allowed, and we don’t even know what we are. I don’t wanna know what Steve will have to say about this. Fuck, or Alvarez.”

“Hey, it’s fine, you’re probably right that we should keep it a secret for right now.”

Both of you fell silent again because that was that; you wanted to try this out, no pressure, you’d figure it out along the way, and you would keep it a secret for now to avoid any unnecessary drama.

With that conversation out of the way, Javier was able to focus on the aspect of your relationship you’d indulged in.

“I think we can agree we’ll be having sex as we figure all this out, right?” His hand moved under the sheet, finding your bare hip.

“Uh, yes.” You couldn’t blame anyone who’d ever slept with Javier because he was as good as he made himself out to be.

“With all the shit we did last night, I don’t think we looked at each other.”

“—you’re right.”

Both of you definitely groped and fucked certain parts of each other, but you’d been mostly dressed at the office and you didn’t turn any lights on when you went back to your apartment.

“Show me.” He tugged on the sheet and you made a noise of protest, tightening your grip on it to hold it to your chest.

“No, you show me!” The idea of being naked in front of Javier Peña was nerve wracking because he’d been with so many people, and there was still some part of your brain that insisted you weren’t supposed to show yourself to this man even though you didn’t hate him and you’d let him inside you...and there was also this fear to show him that you weren’t...perfect.

He rolled his eyes and moved out of the bed with no shame whatsoever, standing there for you to see with his hands on his hips.

His shoulders were as broad out of his clothes as they were in them, yet the rest of him was fairly slim and you would guess fit since he ran so much. Your eyes were immediately drawn to the patch of hair between his legs that led to a part of him you knew was sizable when it was inside you, your eyes still widening at the sight anyway.

That look made his lips twitch into a lopsided smile, chuckling softly. “You know, you’re a lot more flattering when you don’t hate me.”

“Unfortunately you were sexy even when I thought I hated you,” you said without really thinking of your words, almost wistful as you let your eyes roam over him.

“Are you treating me like a sex object?” There was a joking lilt to his tone, mocking your behavior towards him lightheartedly since he understood you were just trying to remain professional in a job that worked against women when you’d railed into him.

“Yes.” It took you a moment to realize what you’d answered and you looked up at him for a moment in a way that made him think he might’ve just made you hate him again, but then you let out a laugh.

“Your turn.” He liked the sound of your laugh more than he wanted to admit, so he decided to change the subject with something he was happy to admit he liked.

You hesitated for all those aforementioned reasons, but it was only fair now that you’d seen him, so you slowly slid out from under the covers to stand on the other side of the bed.

His eyes went to your breasts and lingered for a long moment before moving down the rest of your body, lips parting at the sight of your pussy. It was fun to be inside it, obviously, but it was nice to see the place where he’d pounded into you.

Your hands were on your hips like his, but he noticed that one of your hands was over a little and he knew that was where you’d been shot.

He tried to meet your gaze only to find you were staring off to the side. He thought for a moment and then nodded towards you.

“Come here.” His words made you look at him and he stared hard, telling you he wasn’t kidding and you needed to listen to him.

It took a moment, but you slowly walked around the bed to stand in front of him, and he grabbed onto your wrist to gently pull your hand away from your hip.

You were definitely reluctant, staring down at the floor as he revealed the small scar on your hip that you were so unashamed of for some reason.

He could’ve told you that it was nothing, that you were sexy with or without it, that it would probably fade one day, but those types of things usually sounded like someone was just trying to be polite because they didn’t know what else to do.

So he looked at you until you met his eyes, then he moved to his knees and kept his gaze on yours as he pressed a slow, gentle kiss to the scar.

There were tears in your eyes and he wasn’t sure whether they were happy or not, hoping they were as you gently ran stroked over his hair.

His own hands slid up your thighs and moved to hold onto your hips, gently pushing you down to sit on the bed where he knelt between your legs.

“What are you doing?” Your legs opened wider almost of their own accord when he began pressing little kisses along your inner thighs.

He didn’t answer you, moving his hands down to lay them on the tops of your thighs, his thumbs going to your folds and pulling you open for a good look at your cunt. He let out a low groan at the sight of you, wasting no time in leaning in and pressing his face against you.

His tongue lapped and flicked at you, fast and firm, and you were crying out in mere moments from how good at this he was, knowing exactly where and how to touch you.

He would run his tongue up your slit then stop at your clit for a moment to suck on it, then go right back to licking at you, teasing you perfectly to turn you on that much faster.

Once he’d made you thoroughly wet and you were moaning out his name, he stopped teasing you and dipped his head down to shove his tongue into your entrance, fucking you with it as he nudged at your clit with his nose. It was amazing for those two areas of you to be stimulated at the same time and you tightened your grip on his hair, tugging hard.

“Fuck, Javi!” You couldn’t believe how easy it was for him to make you come even if this was the third time he’d be doing it, so close within a couple minutes when your other partners needed a lot of guidance.

Sometimes you had to do it yourself because they didn’t know what they were doing or didn’t care enough to try.

But not with Javier, who was thrusting his tongue into you with such precision that you were practically lifting up off the bed to press yourself to him.

It only turned you on more when you looked down to see him staring up at you darkly, obviously turned on himself based on the look in his eyes that basically told you how much he wanted to fuck you.

“I’m gonna come…” If anything, your words made him move his tongue faster inside you, one of his hands moving so he could rub his finger against your clit.

Your hips jerked and he groaned into you the moment your cunt clenched down on his tongue, continuing to lick into you as you came for him, lapping you up and letting you know how much he enjoyed the taste of you with little encouraging moans.

The way you jerked his head back when your orgasm faded and his touches were too much made his cock twitch, part of him liking that hint of dominance as he gazed up at you.

His lips and chin were shining from your wetness being all over him and you let go of him because the sight was turning you on all over again.

He smirked, leaning in to press a few more kisses to the scar on your hip.

“I think...I should probably return the favor.” Not only was being eaten out a rare occurrence for you, but he took the shame at your scar and made it go away so easily.

“Seriously?” He didn’t think you were the type, but he’d only really known you as a person who was seemingly always angry until recently and the look in your eyes told him you wanted to return the favor.

You nodded and he was on you, kissing you as you let out another beautiful laugh against his lips, pushing you down onto the bed.

Neither of you could believe you’d wasted so much time.

[vintagedolan]

forgetful (egd)

it’s not like Ethan to forget things, so there’s no way he forgot your birthday... right?

word count: 4.2k

requested by: anon (thank you beeb!) 

warnings/tags: sad!ethan, forgetting of a birthday, panic attack, mentions of sean, angst (but it’s resolved cause im a weak fluffy bitch oops)

feel free to send in requests! i’ll write most things! hope you enjoy :)

This was one elaborate plan, you’d give him that. And he was hiding everything so well that you were ridiculously impressed. You went along with it, not wanting him to think that you were suspicious of anything.

“You all packed?” You asked, pouting a bit as he zipped up his bag and stood it up on its wheels. 

“Yep. It’s just for a few days, I’ll be back on Thursday. Need some family time with Mom,” he reassured you. 

Thursday. Your birthday. 

You never really made a big deal out of birthdays but after you had gotten Ethan two new custom longboards for his, he had promised you an epic celebration for your big day. And he hadn’t let you in on the secret at all. It took all your self control not to pry and ask questions as you followed him out to the car where Grayson was waiting. Was he even going to Jersey? Or was this all some big ploy? You wouldn’t put it past him. Either way, you knew you weren’t going to see him for a few days, which pulled at your heart strings a bit.

“Okay, well fly safe, and let me know when you all get there,” you wrapped your arms around his torso, squeezing tight. He nuzzled into your hair for a moment, squeezing you even tighter than he usually did. Between the way he was talking and that, you could tell something was definitely going on. 

“I will. I love you,” he said, leaning down to kiss you goodbye. It was quicker than usual. It only convinced you more.

“Love you too,” you smiled at him, letting go and moving to hug Grayson goodbye. You waved until they were out of sight before going inside, with a million thoughts of what he could be up to running through your head. 

He text you a quick made it safe about 6 hours later, right on time for a landing in New Jersey. You sent back some hearts and a response. 

Have fun hanging with your mom, I know you’ve missed her. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I love you! It was a subtle way of trying to assure him that he didn’t need to be talking to you when he should be visiting with his family. 

He sent back a I will baby, I love you too and you left it at that. 

The next day went by fairly slow for a Monday. You piddled around the house, getting some work done and generally just relaxing. Ethan FaceTimed you around noon, and was acting even weirder than before. Something was definitely up, and you couldn’t help but get a little bit excited. He must be planning something big if he was this nervous about it. 

Tuesday was even weirder. He sent you a good morning text, but you didn’t hear from him again until that evening, and when he called you could tell that he was exhausted and wasn’t much in the mood for talking. It puzzled you some, but worried you more than anything. 

“Are you okay baby? You seem a bit off,” you asked.

“Yeah, I’m just tired. I need to go to bed. I love you.”

“I love you too, get some rest.” 

By Wednesday, you were actually starting to get concerned. You considered texting Grayson - if Ethan was actually upset about something, his brother would probably tell you. But you felt bad at the idea of going behind Ethan’s back so you waited. 

It was 9pm your time, which was midnight back in Jersey, when he finally facetimed you. He was in a bit higher spirits, which made you smile. His day was much more interesting than yours had been, so you listened to him talk about anything and everything, just content to hear his voice. When he finally got through all the events, he asked all about yours. There wasn’t much to tell, but you walked him through.

“I’m sure tomorrow will be more eventful,” you teased, rolling your eyes a bit.

“Yeah, about that. Cam is coming to surprise mom tomorrow, and Gray and I are gonna stay an extra day so we can see her. It’s been ages since we’ve all been home,” he explained. You balked. Was he kidding? You watched him closely, trying to see if he was joking or not. You noticed that he was fidgeting a little bit, one of his nervous habits. Something else was up. 

It clicked for you then - he was probably setting up the surprise, wanting you to think that he wasn’t even going to be in the state. Sneaky.

“Okay, that’s fine,” you responded, secretly looking around the screen to see if you could spot a camera. He would be filming this for sure if there was a video, and you didn’t want to ruin it.

“I was wondering if you could do me a favor tomorrow though. Louis Vuitton is getting a shipment of new stuff in for me and Gray, and we’re supposed to pick specific stuff by Saturday, do you think you could go get it and bring it home so we have more time to decide once we get back?” 

There it was. 

The weird get-you-to-a-certain-place excuse that was customary with any Ethan surprise. You breathed out a sigh - for a second there you really thought that he had forgotten. This was one of his less creative ideas, but you rolled with it anyways. 

“Yeah, I can get it. What time am I supposed to go?”

“Whenever is fine! Thank you baby,” he offered you a soft smile.

Weird. Usually he would be specific on a time. Oh well. He definitely just needed you out of the house so he could set up whatever it was. 

“You’re welcome. Isn’t it like 1am there now? You should be asleep,” you reminded him.

“Yeah, we’ve gotta get Cam pretty early in the morning so you’re probably right. Well, I love you, I’ll check on you tomorrow. Goodnight!”

“I love you too, goodnight baby.”

It was hard to sleep that night. Your mind was racing with a million different things, trying to think of what he would be planning. He was probably on a plane already. You woke up throughout the night, convinced you were hearing him sneaking in. But eventually you fell asleep with no dreams.

And when you woke up the next morning around 9am the house was empty and quiet. You didn’t feel any older, and to be honest it didn’t feel much different from your past few birthdays - you usually spent them alone. You walked around the house cautiously, peeking around corners to see if someone was there to jump out and surprise you. No one showed, so you simply went to the kitchen and made yourself a quick breakfast. 

Once that was done, you went back to Ethan’s bathroom and started getting ready. It had been awhile since you’d done a full face of makeup, and you put on one of your favorite outfits as well just to make you feel nice.

As you were putting your shoes on, you felt your phone buzz. 

Morning baby! what’re you up to? was the text from Ethan that came across your screen. 

morning! I’m headed to louis to get your alls clothes

You felt the butterflies starting to mount as you headed out to the car. Who knew what was gonna be there when you got back. Deciding to make the most of it, you stopped by your favorite coffee shop and got a drink on your way to the store. The workers were nice as always, even helping you to get all the garment bags into your car before waving as you drove off. 

The excitement mounted with each minute that passed on the way home. You were practically bouncing by the time you got to the driveway, opening the gate and pulling in. Nothing looked different - of course, he would have hidden the cars somewhere. 

You gathered all the garment bags, holding them high above you so they didn’t drag the ground, hoping you wouldn’t drop them if someone jumped out. 

Opening the door slowly, you braced yourself.

And nothing. 

Nothing happened. 

You kept walking, placing the bags down over the couch. 

“Hello?” You said, listening to the echo. There was no response. And then it hit you like a ton of bricks. 

No one was here. 

No one was coming.

You’d been forgotten. 

The tears came quickly, hot and angry down your cheeks. It took a moment for you to realize that you were actually embarrassed. You’d made up a whole scenario in your head that your boyfriend was planning some major surprise for you, when in reality he was actually across the country with no idea what day it even was. It stung much more than you thought it would. 

And so, you sat on the floor and cried, leaving tear stains on your outfit and throwing a full on pity party. You felt stupid, and childish, and unloved all at the same time. A tiny sliver of hope remained, but when you got a snapchat from Grayson of them in the car with Cam, it faded too. 

After about an hour you managed to get yourself up off the floor, going through the motions. You hung the boys clothes up in their closets, cleaned up your makeup; it was still your birthday. You were going to try to have a good day if you could. So you went back out to the grocery and bought yourself a cake. A whole ass cake in your favorite flavor, and you had the bakers write “happy birthday to me” on top of it in white icing. 

As you drove back to the house, your sadness started to turn into anger. You didn’t deserve this shit. You deserved to be celebrated on the one fucking day of the year that was about you. And you were happy that Ethan was getting to see his sister - you really were. If he had told you about it and been apologetic that he couldn’t be there for your birthday, you would have understood. But it was so very obvious that he’d completely forgotten, and that was what bothered you the most out of anything. 

When your phone rang with a facetime from him, you knew better than to answer it. You would say something that you really, really regretted. You let it ring through as you pulled in the driveway, carrying your cake inside and sitting it on the counter. Your phone rang again, and you ignored it. 

He seemed to give up, and sent you a text instead.

Hey baby, we ended up needing to get a flight tonight so I should be home around 11 or so your time. didn’t want you to get scared if you heard me. can’t wait to see you, I missed you!

You closed your phone. You didn’t trust yourself to not be an asshole. You knew that as soon as Ethan realized what was going on he was going to feel absolutely terrible. So you didn’t want to be a complete asshole. But... that didn’t mean you couldn’t be a little bit petty. 

So you decided to stay up until he got home. And by stay up, that meant waiting in the kitchen for him with your cake on the counter so he could realize exactly what had happened. Petty. But justified. 

The wait was long, but worth it when you finally heard them coming down the driveway. You started eating the cake, making sure to just get the corners because you wanted the words to stay visible.

The door clicked open and shut, and you heard the rustling of the boys coming in.

“Tell Y/N I said hey if she’s up, I’m going the fuck to sleep,” you heard Grayson explain, not even coming into the kitchen.

Good. You didn’t want him in the middle of all this anyways. 

Ethan almost passed you on his way to his room, but you caught his eye. His entire face lit up when he saw you, and you felt your resolve to be petty crack a little. He was so damn cute, it was hard to stay mad at him. 

“Baby you didn’t need to stay up! I figured you’d gone to sleep early since you didn’t answer earlier,” he grinned, coming over to you. 

“I’m awake.” Your tone stopped him in his tracks - he was on his way to kiss you, no doubt. You were even surprised at how mad you sounded. It wasn’t like you to pick a fight. 

“I can see that. Are you okay?” He was more cautious now, looking around to see if he could figure out what was happening. You gave him a minute before you took another bite of cake to give him a clue.

He looked down at the icing, and you watched him mouth the words as he read it. 

“Did you buy a clearance cake or something? What’s going on? I’m confused.”

“I can wait until you figure it out.” 

You watched the gears turn in his head. When he looked up from the pastry, his eyes were wide. 

“What’s today’s date?” He asked, his voice meek.

“I’ll give you one guess,” you murmured, taking another bite.

“Oh no. Oh no no no no,” he said, hands coming up to his hair. He held his head for a moment, and you noticed that his chest was rising and falling too fast. He stumbled a bit, reaching back to catch himself on the counter. His hand slipped slightly - was he sweating?

You pieced it together immediately. 

Panic attack.

Any anger, any pettiness you had flew out the window. You dropped your fork, running over to him and grabbing his hand. 

“C’mon, come with me Ethan it’s okay,” you said, guiding him as quickly as you could to the room you shared. They always resolved quicker if he was in his most comforting place, so when you got him in the room you immediately guided him to sit on the bed. 

You knelt in front of him, holding his hands in yours. 

“Breathe in while I squeeze, out when I let go, okay? Just like we always do, and it’ll stop. I’m right here,” you reassured him, squeezing his hands. To your relief he was able to take a deep breath in with you, but he exhaled immediately, panic still overriding. 

“You’re. You’re gonna - leave.” He was gasping through the words.

“Ethan I’m right here. I’m right here, I’m not leaving, no matter what. Just breathe baby, just breathe.” 

It took almost 15 minutes to get him fully calmed down, and you only knew it was over when he opened up his arms for you. You climbed onto his lap, no hesitation, wrapping your arms around him. 

It didn’t matter how angry you were - nothing was worse than seeing the man you loved in pain. You couldn’t stand it. 

“I am actually the biggest piece of shit to walk the face of the earth,” he mumbled into your shoulder a few moments later. You shook your head, pressing a kiss to his hair. 

“No you aren’t, I’m -”

“If you apologize, I swear to god,” he cut you off and you fell silent as he sat up and looked at you. “Please, please do not try to make me feel better right now.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?” You asked honestly. You felt guilty that your pettiness had caused him to panic so quickly. 

“Yell at me, scream at me, be fucking pissed off that I literally forgot the most important day of the fucking year,” he said, exasperated. 

“I’m not gonna do that.” You couldn’t do that was the correct answer. “Besides, I already had my fun. With the cake.” 

Ethan looked like he was going to explode.

“So I forget that today is your birthday. Not only do I not have a whole party and surprise for you, but I don’t even say happy birthday. And you spend the entire day alone, while I’m just fucking around on the other side of the country.”

“You were with your family, that’s not fucking around.” 

“While I’m just fucking around on the other side of the United States-” he repeated. “And your revenge on me was to buy yourself a cake...”

“And be petty about it,” you shrugged. He looked at you in disbelief. And honestly, you were surprised at yourself too. You’d been so hurt and mad earlier, but all that anger had left you somehow. Something about being with Ethan put you at peace, even in the most unsettling of situations.

“That wasn’t even being petty! What do you even mean!? How are you not screaming at me right now!?” He practically yelled. 

“I mean yeah, I was sad, but I pretty much hurt my own feelings.”

His face was actually red with frustration.

“Please explain what ridiculous way you’ve convinced yourself of that.”

You hesitated.

“It’s gonna make you sad.” 

He didn’t say anything, and you sighed, knowing he was gonna make you tell him. You looked down, toying with the hem of his shirt as you explained.

“Well, I thought it was kinda weird that you were going home so close to my birthday, so I kinda convinced myself that maybe you were surprising me or something. Like pretending to be gone, but actually you were gonna be here. And you seemed off while you were home, so I thought maybe you were just planning stuff, or maybe you were nervous about pulling it off. And I thought you asked me to go to Louis to get the clothes so you had time to set stuff up. But then when I got back I realized you were still in Jersey. So really it was only bad because I thought something was happening.”

“I am a piece of shit,” he repeated after a moment. 

“What was going on in Jersey that had you acting so weird?” You poised, trying to change the subject. He was going to continue beating himself up over forgetting, and there wasn’t much you could do to stop him, but you were genuinely curious as to what had been going on. You knew him well enough that you were sure that it was something - you’d just assumed wrong when guessing it was about you. 

His arms tightened around you slightly, pulling you to his chest while his cheek rested on your shoulder. Sometimes, he found it easier to talk about things when he wasn’t looking right at you. 

“It was Mom and Dad’s anniversary last week. It’s always really hard for her, and Grayson and I wanted to go see her to make sure she was alright, but we couldn’t get out there on the actual day. But we went to his grave on Tuesday, and I realized I hadn’t been back out there since the funeral. It stirred up a lot of emotions for everybody, but it was really nice being home with my family, even just for a little while. We facetimed with Cam while we were there, and she got upset too and wanted to see everybody so we got her a flight to come up for the day.”

You took a minute to process everything, and then you leaned back so that you could look at Ethan.

“Baby why didn’t you tell me? If I’d known all that I would have told you to stay longer.”

“I just... I didn’t want it to be a big deal. It shouldn’t be a big deal.” 

“Yes it should. Your family is the most important thing to you, it always has been and it always will be. That comes before anything,” you reassured him. “If your mom was having a hard time, you did the right thing by going to see her when you could.”

“My dad always handled everything so well. Always had a million things going on at once and never dropped anything. And I can’t even remember two fucking things.” His voice was getting rougher, and you could tell his throat was tight. You put a hand behind his neck, running your fingers through the hairs at the nape of it.

“I just wish I could be more like him. I always fuck everything up.” 

“You don’t Ethan. You’re more like your dad than you’ll ever know, he raised you to be an amazing man. I see parts of him in you everyday.” 

And for some reason those words broke him down, and he began to sob. You hadn’t seen him cry like that in a while, but when you had, no words could comfort him. So you just held him tightly and let him cry his way through it, running your fingers along his back gently and occasionally pressing a kiss to his temple. 

When he had finally cried himself out he just melted into your shoulder and let you hold him for a while. It was a few more minutes before he spoke.

“This must be a wonderful birthday for you. Your asshole boyfriend forgets about it, then comes home and spends the last hour of it in a panic attack and then bawling like a baby over his dead dad. I sure do know how to bring the party huh.” 

You leaned back to meet his eyes, and he had been so monotone through the whole thing that you couldn’t help but laugh. Your giggle caused him to start to crack, and before you knew it you were both cackling so hard you were crying.

“We’re quite the duo,” you teased, taking his face in your hands and wiping his tears away.

“I really am so sorry baby. I feel terrible.” 

“It’s alright Ethan. You had a reason, and to be honest it was kinda fun being petty for a minute. I don’t get to do it often,” you said. He was already forgiven. To your surprise, instead of arguing, he took your wrist in his hand, turning it to look at the time on your watch. 

11:58

“It’s still your birthday. Can I give you your present?”

“You got me a present?” You perked up.

“Of course I did, I’m not that shitty.”

“Gimme,” you smiled, holding out your hands. He smiled at that, putting his hands on your hips and lifting you off his lap. You watched him as he went to his closet, reaching behind one of his shoe boxes to pull out a small blue wrapped box, followed by an envelope. You made a grabby hand at it, making him chuckle as he handed them over.

“Which one should I open first?” 

“You’re the birthday girl, you decide,” he grinned.

You opted for the envelope, pulling it open and looking inside. There were a few pieces of paper, but you chose the one with Ethan’s handwriting on it first. In his messy scrawl you read:

plus a shopping spree for anything you want to take with us :) 

“Take with us? Where are we going?!” You exclaimed.

“Open the rest of it,” he urged. 

You reached in and found two plane tickets to Maui. 

“Holy shit! We’re going to Hawaii!?” 

“We leave in two weeks. I figured it was about time we went there by ourselves. I got us a nice little villa to stay at, and we’re gonna go clothes shopping for whatever you want. Though, I do request you pick out many, many bikinis.”

You smacked his chest before you kissed him.

“This is too much. Way too much.”

“Not possible. Here, open this one. It’s not as exciting, but I think you’ll still like it.” He passed you the box and ripped off the paper. What else could he have possibly gotten you?

When you pulled open the box, you gasped. It was a beautiful ring, with a raw black crystal on it that had a tiny blue stone nestled in it. It was obviously hand crafted, and it was just your style.

“Ethan this is beautiful,” you said, picking it up and admiring it. “What kind of crystal is this?”

“It’s black tourmaline, and the little stone is zircon, which is my birthstone. Black tourmaline is for protection, so it’s my promise to you that I’m always going to keep you safe.” He took the ring from your hand and slid it onto your finger. 

“I love you,” was the only response you could form as you crawled forward and settled yourself back in his lap. You kissed him hard, trying to say what you wanted without the words. No one had ever gotten you a gift so meaningful. He kissed you back, responding to each move you made, reciprocating as you lead, hands wandering. 

He took you by surprise when he stood up, hands moving to your ass as he lifted you and carried you towards the door.

“Where are we going?” In all honesty, you didn’t care. 

“I’m declaring it birthday week, and we’re celebrating every day. So we’re starting day two with cake.”

“I have sad news.”

His feet stopped and he looked at you, quirking an eyebrow.

“It’s not dairy free.”

He gasped a bit in mock hurt, but it turned into a smile that you kissed off his lips a moment later.

“Well then, I’ll just watch you eat cake and think of all the ways I’m going to spoil you until your next birthday to make up for this one.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” 

[saibh29]

Unending Shift

Pairing: Ethan Choi x Reader

Warning: Swearing, Racism (kind of)

AN: thanks to @georgiagrl1990​ for giving me the courage to go ahead and post this one. 

******

It had happened before and you were sure it would happen again, people could be ignorant, hurtful and on top of that just plain stupid. You could handle that, well, usually you could handle that. Unfortunately, today was just the wrong day for that dick to bring up your relationship.

It had been a really long shift, stressful and seemingly never ending. You’d had 3 gunshot victims in a row and 2 of them had been minors. Minors were always worse, seeing those young kids with their whole lives in front of them laying on a trolley building out from a bullet.

“Y/N, you know that guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about”

“Usually I’d agree with you, today though… it’s just been a really bad day”

April knew, she understood without you having to say anything else. You were both nurses, you dealt with patients at their worst. You cleaned them up, you patched them up and you were there for them when they hit their lowest.

From out the window of the staff room you could see Ethan talking to Maggie occasionally gesturing at the charts in his hand.

“Don’t tell him”

April followed your glance and also clocked Ethan. “He’ll understand”

“He won’t April” your friend opened her mouth to talk again and you smiled covering her mouth with your hand. “He deals with it when it’s directed at him but if it’s me? You know he’ll freak out April”

“He loves you”

“I know, and I love him. Which is why I'm telling you it’s not worth it”

You were fairly certain that in a few hours you were going to have squashed all the feelings back down again and you’d be fine. Your nurse face would be back and the idiot in trauma 4 would have disappeared.

In reality you weren’t even sure how the patient had seen you and Ethan together. The most he could have seen was a hand grazing your back or squeezing your own hand. You both tried to keep it professional at work.

Clearly that had been enough for the patient in trauma 4 to decide to berate you as traitor to your white ancestors for dating someone who wasn’t the same skin colour as you. He’d hurled some quite colourful insults around as well, words you’d never heard in that order before.

“Y/N, you want me to take trauma 4?”

“You really want to deal with him?”

April grimaced “I don’t. However, I also don’t really want you to have to deal with him either”

“Who’ve you got?”

 *****

In the end you and April had switched with you taking her elderly patient in trauma 2 not that she had been much easier. The poor lady had quite established dementia and didn’t enjoy taking her tablets. What with the drama with her false teeth and finding her pills still lodged under her tongue it had been quite an eventful end to your shift.

By the time your shift really was over you were ready to go home, run a hot bath and pour yourself a large glass of red wine. Failing that you could settle for eating a whole tub of ice cream and binge watching some terrible comedy show.

“Y/N?” Ethan had come into the nurse’s staff room without you noticing. He was pulling a shift an a half, read budget cuts, so wasn’t coming home with you for once. “babe, you alright?”

“Of course, why?” turning away from your locker you continued wrapping the long ends of your scarf around your neck inwardly cursing Chicago’s mid-winter weather.

“You and April switched trauma rooms earlier”

“We switch rooms all the time”

“Y/N” Ethan took the end of your scarf off you and stopped you mummifying your face. “why did you switch trauma rooms with April?”

Sometimes you really hated how perceptive he was. “I don’t think you actually want to know” you mumbled trying to bury your face in your woollen scarf.

Ethan instead though simply unwrapped it completely, took hold of your chin and lifted your face up so you had no choice but to look at him. “What did he say to you?”

“Why do you think he said anything…” you trailed off lamely at the look in Ethan’s eyes. He knew you way to well for you to try and pull off dumb and innocent. “ok fine, he was a bit of an ass. I'm over it though, and we sorted it”

“You aren’t going to tell me?”

“Nope”

“Can I change your mind?”

“Nope”

In lots of things when Ethan Choi put his will to something he could definitely change it. Often that included the ability to change your mind. Right now though, there was nothing he could say to you that would in anyway motivate you into repeating what that idiot had said to you. Especially when said idiot was still in the hospital waiting for test results. You did not need Ethan getting written up for doing something stupid in defence of you.

“I find you… frustrating”

“You find me adorable” you corrected. “The frustrating part is only because you can’t bully me into telling you whatever you want to hear”

His face fell “I would never bully you”

Sighing you kissed his chin “sometimes darling your way to literal. I know you don’t bully me. I also know there is nothing you could do to get me to spill that truth”

“Nothing?” his eyebrow rose and you read challenge accepted in his eyes.

Laughing you glanced at the clock over his shoulder “nothing you can do in the 2 minutes before your next shift starts”

Ethan’s arms went around your waist holding you to him. “I still have hours when I get home though Nurse Y/L/N. Challenge accepted?”

Sometimes his indomitable will really wasn’t a bad thing because god when he got that look in his eyes. You were in for hours of pleasure when he did get home.

“Challenge accepted” you agreed.

Unfortunately, Ethan really did only have a few minutes before his shift started and after quite a thorough kiss, he let go of you to head back to the ED. Your plans for tonight though changed quite rapidly. There was no way you were going to be asleep for when Ethan got home and red wine and baths would put you to sleep quickly. Which meant coffee, lots of it, and not the decaf kind. You had a date with a very handsome doctor to be awake for.

******

@lclb13 @moli1497​   @clementines-x​ @the-chosen-one-time-lord​ @no-other-names-availible-blog​ @angelaiswriting​ @selldraug​ @angryares​ @thenovarose​ @georgiagrl1990​ @punk-rock-5-sos @mindofthescattered​  @dontstopxx​ @iamabeautifulperson18​ @madelinecraig03​ @ka-x-in​ @im-hurric4ne @mesmericbell​ @something–awesome @weirdpotato-14​ @putinontheritzz​ @soulslaststand​ @fuckthatfeeling​  @ember1201​ @morganlb23​ @kitkatbadass @tomhopperarms​  @fakingintrest​ @artprincessbree​  @dreamer-lover-laughter​ @artprincessbree​ @rime-warrior​ @captainvaneswife​ @jaib2-blog @kapolisradomthoughts​ @thingsandstuffienjoy​ @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​ @aya-fay​  @itsbubbaog​ @hp-hogwartsexpress​ @emmykinzs​ @thatbadassunicorn​ @sassywingednightmare​ @weirdnewbie​ @goyawriter​ @shipperfangirling​ @nathaliabakes​ @stillreadingfantasy @waywardblueshun

[bleepblopbloop56]

Discovering the Soul

Okay guys heres the deal i mightve already posted this forever ago but i cant find it and im pretty sure it only got like 2 likes so were trying this again.

Warnings: panic attack, crying, soulmate au

---

Virgil didn’t have a soulmate. Not really a surprise. A lot of people didn’t have soulmates, it was fairly common actually. Only about 75% of the population actually HAD the black stains on their skin, showing the first place their soulmate would touch them. Some people never find their soulmates, and that was fine. People still continued dating and getting married, even with people they knew weren’t their soulmate. Sometimes soulmates just didn’t exist, and that was okay.

What wasn’t okay was the stigma around not having a soulmate. In schools kids were often bullied for not having one, leading to higher risk of mental health problems in people without them.

The way that soulmarks work is simple. From the moment you’re born a black stain appears on your skin, the first time that your soulmate touches you will be in that place and  you’ll know because the mark bursts into color. Most people had them on their hands, signifying a handshake, an accidental brushing of hands, a slap in some cases.

His friend Logan had one covering most of his back. His friend Roman had the usual hand one, covering the bottom an some of the top half of his fingers. Dee had one looking suspiciously like a bitch slap... Perhaps the soulmark shaped the person. Maybe if Dee had a different soulmark he wouldn’t act like such an ass all the time, practically begging to be slapped by someone. Maybe Logan wouldn’t be so observant if he wasn’t always sitting with his back towards the wall, watching the place, because he didn’t WANT a soulmate. Maybe if Virgil had a soulmark he’d be happy. Maybe he wouldn’t cover up every inch of his skin so people on the street wouldn’t know about his fate, maybe he’d actually let people touch him instead of jerking violently at even the wind, if it dares to get too close.

Maybe if Virgil wasn’t so closed off he would’ve known sooner…

---

God how Virgil wished this would just be a normal day. How he wished he could turn back time and just, make things better. Patton was running just a bit too fast down the school’s hallway, Logan was walking a bit too slow to carry on a conversation outside of Virgil’s classroom. And suddenly, Logan’s back was slammed into by Patton’s chest, knocking them both over in the process. Logan gasped, but not in pain, and frantically tried feeling at his back. Patton took a minute more to realise what was happening, to even realise that had hit someone and fell.

“Logan?! Are you okay?!” virgil helped him up and tried his best to ignore the growing crowd of people. Logan didn’t seem to notice, or if he didn’t, he didn’t care.

“Check, please check” logan panted out, still not quite being able to grasp the situation. Virgil grimaced as he pulled the back of Logan’s shirt up and sure enough, his previously black stained skin was now covered in bright shades of blue, standing out against the rainbows. Patton was frantically pulling at his own collar, pushing it down just enough to expose the bright rainbow colors of a newly found soulmate.

“Oh my goodness!!!!” patton squealed jumping up and nearly tackling logan in a hug. And for the first time any of them have ever seen, logan laughed. He actually laughed as he wrapped his arms around patton and hugged him back. Sure, him and virgil had been friends for a while and he had seen logan chuckle, but this was different. This was a full blown laugh. Logan was happy. The local “i don’t need a soulmate” emotionless robot had seemed to completely forget his disinterest as he grabbed on tight to the happiest person in the world. Patton had tears in his eyes as he laughed too. Of course the goofiest, most clumsy boy in school ends up with a boy like him.

Virgil felt sick. He always heard that seeing someone get a soulmate was beautiful, “almost as beautiful as meeting your own” apparently. But seeing his best friend so happy, hugging a boy with a rainbow chest, it was just another reminder that of course virgil didn’t have a soulmate, and of course his best friend did.

---

Everyone always thought roman would be one of the many people to not notice when their soulmark changed colors. Too many people brushed against each other in a crowd, never to be seen or heard from again. Most people assumed that since he did such vivid arm movements when he talked, expressing himself much like a cartoon, he’d end up somehow slapping someone who sat to close and not realising it.

“How could i ever not realise i touched my soulmate?! Its my true love i think i would know!!” princey said, wildly gesturing with his fork accidently slapping someone with a piece of chicken before plopping it into his mouth, completely oblivious.

“Are you 100% certain you would notice?” Patton had very quickly been pulled into their group of friends after the whole soulmate incident. Virgil hated seeing them together. He hated seeing the two together everyday and not being able to suppress his anger and sadness over not having someone to make him that happy. Almost everyone was surprised that logan “i don’t want a soulmate”  berry was nearly constantly holding hands with patton foster and almost everyone could admit that he looked happier after they met. it made virgil sick.

“I’m just saying if this nerd found a soulmate before me something must be wrong with fate!” the conversation faded out as virgil stared off into space. All this soulmate talk never failed to make virgil uncomfortable. They knew he was still there right? He was snapped out of his thoughts by a grape smacking him straight in the face.

“Yo, stormcloud, you good?” roman never really was good at comforting, or being nice for that matter. He tended to upset people without meaning to with his mannerisms and jokes and nicknames. Half the school hated him and he had no idea what he did.

“Yeah, fine” virgil replied darkly, hiding a bit more behind his jet black bangs. He knew it was irrational to be angry at the group, none of them were responsible for his lack of soulmate. That was all his fault for being born wrong.

“I’m going to the bathroom” he choked out, leaving the table with tears in his eyes. Maybe he could just skip the rest of the school day. Then he wouldn’t have to see any godforsaken soul couples with their hand holding and forehead kissing and reminders of how virgil would never have that.

---

Maybe if he hadn’t come to school today none if this would’ve happened. Maybe if he just stayed home his life would forever be different.

Maybe if he’d just stayed home he wouldn’t be having a panic attack with Roman prince sitting in front of him trying to calm him down.

“I can’t- i can’t- I can’t- I cant-” his breath came in violent hiccups as he reached into his hair and started to pull. Roman had never seen him so torn up over something so small like a kiss on the cheek. It was like the littlest things set him off anymore.

“please try and breathe Virgil, come on, deep breaths” he had no idea what he was doing and just prayed that he helped him in some way. Virgil shook his head and violently jerked away from Romans hand when it reached out to touch him.

“it’s not- it’s not fucking fair! It’s not fair it’s not fair” Virgil cried, curling in on himself, crying so hard he could puke. It wasn’t fair that other people got to be happy when Virgil didn’t. It wasn’t fair that Virgil got called names and pushed around just because he didn’t have a soulmate. It wasn’t fair.

Roman was desperately trying to calm down the boy in front of him, resisting the urge to just hug him and hold him tight. But Virgil didn’t like touching. And he definitely didn’t want to be touched now when he was freaking out over soulmates, when he was panicking.

But his hands were pulling at his hair, he was going to hurt himself if he didn’t stop soon.

Roman weighed his options and decided that he’d help calm him down after he made sure he was safe.

“Virgil please..” Roman reached his hand out to pull virgils hands away from his scalp, but Virgil jerked his away, trying to avoid contact, and left romans hand nowhere to go but in his hair.

And it was so much more beautiful than they could’ve ever imagined. It felt like Sparks and birthdays and puppies and love. All the negative emotions drained from them immediately, leaving them both gasping at the sudden change. Virgil’s hair burst into colors, shades of purples and blues outshining the rest.

“but… I thought I didn’t..” Virgil shot up from the floor and ran to the mirror. Hoping ad begging that he wasn’t just imagining the feeling. And he was more than overjoyed that his edgy vibe was brutally murdered by his now rainbow hair.

And he smiled. He smiled and smiled and smiled and smiled. He finally understood why couple’s acted the way they did when they met their soulmate. Why Logan was laughing, why Patton was crying, why even if you met in the middle of a tragedy you couldn’t help feeling like it’d all be okay. It was all so much love that left no room for pain or negativity. And then Virgil was crying, this time tears of joy.

“dude..” Roman whispered before jumping to his feet,“ DUDE!!!! Your hair!!! My hand!! Oh my God oh my fucking God look!!!” Roman gestures wildly towards his own hand, bouncing up and down like a middle schooler.

And then Roman was close, and closer, and then they were hugging and everything was electric. Romans head was nestled into Virgil’s hair, and it felt perfect. He placed a kiss right on the top of Virgil’s head, and it was fireworks all over again.

“is this how it’s gonna feel Everytime we touch?” Roman whispered, more to himself than anything, “ cause I’m never letting you go”

“Never let me go…”

[nonexistent-anime-echo]

Electrical Clogs AU Intro

A/N: I FOUND A SHIP! It's Jay/Echo (also known as Steampunk) and I feel like it could be really heccin cute so I'm going to write about it. So here we go! This is honestly my new favorite Jay ship. I still ship him with (almost) everyone but this one's my favorite right now. I think I'm going to say this is in an AU where either Jay or Cyrus updated his systems, so he's more modern (kinda like what Zane did when he rebuilt himself). They kept his original brownish/rusty color so it was easier to tell the difference between him and Zane (since they look so similar). Also, this takes place I'm thinking between seasons 4 and 5.

I'm also in a Oppo mood so enjoy some slightly suggestive Zane and Kai

Another warning: ECHO IS NOT INNOCENT IN THIS AU. I tried to keep him innocent but my brain was working against it and I also thought it would make more sense, since he'd lived with the ninja and had internet access for a while. He'd pick up on things at some point, probably based on phrases and reactions. That or he did whatever the Ninjago equivalent of googling something is to understand things better. Basically, Echo matured from being with our color coded morons for so long (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) im sorry if i ruin echo for you, if you're really worried about it just don't read this

More information on this AU here

----

  Jay woke up to cold metal poking him and opened his eyes, yawning. 

  "Echo, what are you doing?" he asked, looking at the android in front of him and smiling.

  "Counting your freckles," Echo replied. He continued to poke Jay's face. 

  "Echo, you're fun and all, but can you keep that to a minimum?" Jay said, still smiling. "It's relaxing but not the best thing to wake up to."

  "Of course!"

  "Jay, did you really fall asleep at the table again?" asked Zane as he walked into the room.

  "Maybe."

  "Hello, brother!" said Echo excitedly. 

  "Hello, Echo," said Zane, smiling.

  There was a pause. 

  "Jay, you need to stop falling asleep at the table," said Zane. 

  "But Zane —" Jay groaned, laying his head back down on the table. 

  "Jay, it's better for your back if you're on a bed!" said Zane exasperatedly.

  Jay groaned, standing up. 

  "Wait, why are you up?" said Jay as he caught a glimpse of the sky. It was still dark out, and the moon hung high in the sky.

  "Uhhhh —"

  Kai walked into the room, yawning. His eyes widened as he saw Echo and Jay. He covered his bare chest, his face flushed.

  "I've seen enough, let's go, Echo," said Jay. Echo glanced at Zane and Kai before following Jay to their room.

  "Jay, why couldn't we stay?"

  "I'm tired," said Jay. "And your brother's right, my bed's more comfortable than the table."

  "Oh," said Echo. "Well, goodnight!"

  "Goodnight, Echo," said Jay, laying down on his bed. He paused for a minute. 

  "Hey, Echo, how would you like to share my bed with me?"

  Echo's eyes lit up. 

  "Sure!"

  Jay smirked as Echo curled up next to him. He shivered slightly, since Echo hadn't warmed up yet, but welcomed the chill. He quickly fell asleep to the sound of Echo's mechanical whirs.

----

"Jay, what are you doing in bed with my brother?"

  Jay woke up to Zane's harsh tone.

  "It sounds bad no matter how I explain it —"

  "Don't tell me you —"

  "I'm proud to say Echo's still as innocent as ever," Jay interrupted, sitting up and folding his arms defiantly.

  "Good," said Zane. "That doesn't make me any less frustrated that you have Echo in your bed with you."

  "Zane —"

  "Good morning!" said Echo, yawning and smiling. He got out of Jay's bed, walking out of the room. Zane watched.

  "I don't know if it makes me feel better or worse that he fell asleep next to you."

  "Why is it so bad that he fell asleep next to me? I honestly didn't even know he slept —"

  "You could've rolled over and knocked him off the bed or done some other damage to him —"

  "Zane, he's copper," said Jay. "Copper's a fairly strong metal."

  "Zane's a fairly strong metal!" shouted Kai, snickering.

  "I know how you meant that!" Zane shouted back, his eyes pink. 

  "My point is he's made of a strong metal," said Jay. "I'm not going to dent him if I roll over and knock him off the bed or accidentally roll on top of him."

  "It's just — he's my little brother," said Zane.

  "I know," said Jay with a small smile. "You're naturally going to be protective of him."

  Zane sat down next to him.

  "The most I'll do is give him little cheek pecks, but we're not quite to that stage yet," said Jay. "Think of it like I'm your almost brother-in-law. Not quite, but I'm with your sibling, so I'm almost your brother-in-law. If that makes sense."

  "It does," said Zane. "I still don't know if I'm comfortable with it or not."

  "I won't spend any time with Echo without you around until you decide," said Jay. "If you decide it's okay, then we'll discuss it then. If you don't, then I'll have you tell me what I can and can't do with him."

  "I'm not saying you have to be in my sight all the time!" said Zane, sounding a little frustrated. "I know you won't hurt him! I just would feel safer if you didn't do certain things with him until I figure this out!"

  "Okay," said Jay. "What don't you want me to do with him?"

  "Well, you don't move a lot in your sleep so I'm not too worried about you sharing your bed with him," said Zane. "Just treat it platonically until I figure everything out."

  “If you aren’t worried about me sharing a bed with him, then why’d you freak out about it?” asked Jay. 

  “Probably because I wasn’t expecting to wake up to see one of my best friends and my brother in the same bed,” replied Zane. “Just please be careful with him. Don’t do anything inappropriate or suggestive. I don’t care that he won’t know what you’re doing if you start being suggestive, just please don’t. I want him to stay innocent.”

  “I do too, I’m not going to do anything,” said Jay. "I promise."

  He walked out of the room, leaving Zane with Kai. 

----

Echo messed with the drawstrings on his joggers. 

  "Hey, Echo," said Jay, sitting down next to him. "Is something wrong?" he asked as he caught sight of Echo's fidgeting.

  "I'm fine," said Echo. "I just wish I understood things like what happened with Kai and Zane last night."

  "You'll understand in time," said Jay, smiling. "Don't worry. If Zane lets you understand, that is."

  Echo's eyes briefly flashed red. Jay's eyes widened; Echo's eyes never flashed red.

  "I don't want to be innocent and pure anymore," Echo mumbled. "I want to understand the jokes you guys make."

  "I would help you with that but Zane would literally murder me," said Jay. "We all care about you. That's what matters, right?"

  "Wu wants us to start training," said Lloyd, walking over to Jay and Echo. "And my dad."

  "Can I come?" Echo asked excitedly. Lloyd chuckled.

  "Sure, Echo," he said. Echo's eyes lit up. They walked to the training area. Echo quickly ran inside, coming back out in his ninja outfit. 

  After a bit, they stopped for lunch. Zane and Echo sat off to the side, talking. 

  "Brother, why are you so determined to keep me pure and innocent?" Echo asked, laying back. Zane hesitated. 

  "You're my little brother," he said. "I don't want you to be traumatized."

  "Why would I be traumatized?"

  "Trust me, some of the things I see online are pretty traumatizing. I just don't want you to get hurt."

  They were silent for a few minutes.

  “Master Wu, please don’t make us train more,” said Cole, collapsing on the ground next to the table. 

  “We’re begging you,” said Kai, getting on his knees and putting his hands together. “Please don’t make us train more.”

  Wu narrowed his eyes, staring at Kai and Cole. 

  “We’ve been training all morning,” said Cole.

  Zane and Echo ignored the rest of the conversation.

  "How would you feel if I didn't let you go to fight?" asked Echo, staring at Zane. "I could, I've lost you once and don't want to lose you again."

  "That — that's different," said Zane, not making eye contact with Echo. 

  "Hey, guys," said Jay, walking over to them. "Did — did I interrupt something?"

  "No," said Zane quietly. Echo got up, hugging Jay tightly and smiling, looking at Zane. Zane gave a little half-smile. 

  "Are you sure everything's okay?" Jay asked, looking at Zane with a worried expression.

  "Yeah," answered Zane, standing up and brushing off his thighs. "Everything's fine, Jay. Did Kai and Cole convince Wu to let us have the rest of the day off?"

  "Yeah," said Jay. "They wouldn't leave him alone about it so he just gave up."

  Echo let go of Jay, running around the forest Wu had taken them to. Zane and Jay laughed a little.

  "He has so much energy," said Jay.

  "You do too," said Zane. Jay started climbing a tree, resting on one of the branches. A yell caught his and Zane's attention. Jay quickly jumped down from the tree. 

  "Echo," he and Zane said in unison. They ran toward where the yell had come from. Echo was slowly walking backwards toward a tree, cornered by a wolf.

  "Echo, run!" Jay shouted. "We'll take care of it, run!"

  Echo started running toward Jay and Zane. The wolf followed him. It caught up to him, grabbing his arm and almost tearing it off; Jay and Zane stopped it before Echo could lose his entire arm. Echo started hyperventilating.

  "E-Echo, try to stay calm —" said Jay as Zane looked at Echo's arm. "It'll be okay, calm down —"

  As Echo's hyperventilation got worse, Jay started to panic. He glanced at Zane nervously. 

  It's the only way to get him to calm down.

  Jay kissed Echo, forcing him to hold his breath. He heard Zane say something next to him, but ignored it. Echo put his undamaged arm on the back of Jay's neck, urging him to come closer. Zane threw himself between them.

  "Okay, that's enough," he said, shoving Jay away from Echo. 

  "I was just trying to get him to stop hyperventilating," said Jay. 

  "I understand but —"

  "Guys — whoa, what happened to Echo?" said Kai, stopping in his tracks as he saw Echo's arm. 

  "He was attacked by a wolf," said Jay. He watched as Zane picked up Echo, who whimpered and reached toward Jay with his undamaged arm. 

  "Zaaaaanneeee," he groaned. "I want Jay to come with us."

  "No, sorry," said Zane, walking away. He stopped when he reached Nya. Jay looked at his back and stuck his tongue out.

  "Jay, what'd you do?" asked Cole, walking over and glaring at him. 

  "He was hyperventilating! I was just trying to get him to stop —" said Jay, staring at Cole. 

  "You really seem to have upset Zane by doing that," said Kai. 

  "He's Echo's older brother," said Jay. "I would've been surprised if he wasn't upset."

  "There's more that happened," said Cole. Jay looked down at the grass. 

  "He's probably upset because I'm the one that initiated it and Echo was trying to pull me closer," he said. "I guess he thought Echo wanted to make out with me or something? Echo's too innocent to even consider that."

  "At least, that's what he wants us to think," said Kai. Jay looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.

  "Kai —"

  "You never know," said Kai. "Maybe his dad explained things to him."

  "I doubt it," said Cole. 

  "Well, he's definitely not dumb and he's had internet access since before Lloyd defeated the Overlord," said Kai. "I just find how innocent he seems unnerving."

  "That doesn't mean he's not innocent, Kai," said Cole. Jay let out a whimper. Kai and Cole stared at him.

  "I wish Zane would just let me be with Echo," he said. "I'm not going to hurt him."

  "You have to remember that Echo is Zane's little brother," said Cole. "He'll come around. Just give it time."

  Jay nodded, getting up and following Kai and Cole over to Lloyd. They walked back to the bounty in silence.

----

Echo felt his arm. It was completely fixed; you wouldn't be able to tell a wolf tried to tear it off. 

  "Zane, I know what we agreed on, but he was hyperventilating and I didn't know how hyperventilating would affect him —" Jay's voice was slowly getting closer. "I know you're his older brother —"

  "Jay, I'm just trying to protect him," Zane's voice replied. Echo laid back, waiting for them to enter the room. 

  "From what, Zane?" Jay sounded angry; Echo winced. When Jay was angry, he gave whoever he was angry with hell. Echo heard electric crackles from Jay, confirming his suspicions that Jay was angry. 

  "I don't want anything bad to happen to him!" Zane shouted. 

  "And you think I'm going to do something bad to him?" Jay yelled. The crackles got louder. There was a sound of metal hitting the wooden floor of the bounty, followed by Jay's sobbing. Echo so badly wanted to comfort him, but Zane would be upset if he did. 

  But does that even matter right now?

  Echo stood up, walking out of the room, running over to Jay. He hugged him tightly, looking down at the floor. Zane was laying there, dazed but not unconscious. Jay held onto Echo as if his life depended on it, sobbing into his shoulder. The sound of footsteps rang in Echo's sound processors, telling him someone was running to see what happened. He hugged Jay tighter. Kai and Cole came into the hallway, and, upon seeing Zane on the floor, stared at Jay intensely. 

  "What happened?" demanded Kai, helping Zane up. As Zane swayed a little, Kai helped support him.

  "I — I —" began Jay; he couldn't finish what he was trying to say, continuing to sob into Echo's shoulder. Echo rubbed circles into Jay's back, trying to calm him down. After a minute he stopped sobbing, looking at Kai and Zane. 

  "Zane and I were fighting," he said, not making eye contact with either of them. "Not physically, just verbally. I got too upset and electrocuted Zane."

  "Maybe you shouldn't have done that!" shouted Kai. 

  "K-Kai, calm down," said Zane. "It's partially my fault we were fighting in the first place."

  "He electrocuted you," said Kai. He moved to stand defensively in front of Zane. 

  "Kai, I'm sorry," said Jay, looking at him. 

  "You should be apologizing to Zane, not me!"

  "Kai, seriously, calm down," said Cole. "Jay probably did it on impulse."

  Kai walked away with Zane, glaring at Jay as he did so. Echo and Jay broke apart, smiling.

  "Thanks, Cole," said Jay. 

  "No problem," Cole replied, smiling. "I just know you wouldn't electrocute without a decent reason to."

  "Which would probably be never."

  "C'mon, Jay," said Echo, grabbing Jay's arm.

  "Well, I guess this is a 'Bye for now' moment," said Jay. "See ya later!"

  "Don't have too much fun!"

  "Cole, no," said Jay as he walked away with Echo. They walked into the room Jay shared with the others. They sat down on Jay's bed; Jay leaned back. Echo leaned over him.

  "E-Echo, your brother —"

  "Who cares what Zane says?" Echo said.

  "Echo, when did you even —"

  "I've lived with you guys and had access to the internet for how long?" Echo answered, raising an eyebrow and smiling. "If you're uncomfortable —"

  "I'm fine, I'm just worried about how Zane's going to react if he finds out —" said Jay. His face was bright pink.

  "He doesn't have to," said Echo. 

  "How are we supposed to prevent him from finding out?" Jay asked, relaxing under him.

  "Still working on that," said Echo. He laid down, his head resting on Jay's chest. Nya poked her head in the door. 

  “Hey, Lloyd, Zane, Kai, Cole and I are going to see a movie,” she said. “Wanna come?”

  “Nah, we’ll stay here,” said Jay. 

  “Zane won’t be too happy if you stay here alone with Echo —" Nya said nervously.

  "It's not like we're going to do anything," said Jay. "Go enjoy your movie. We'll take a nap or something."

  "O-okay," said Nya. She left. "We'll be back in a bit!" she added as she walked down the hall.

  "Guess we got our chance," said Jay, sitting up. Zane walked by and glared at them before he left.

  "I'm not going to do anything to him, tin head!" shouted Jay as Zane walked away. He heard Zane groan a little before hearing five people step off the bounty. Echo pushed Jay back, pinning him to the bed. 

  "This is weird," said Jay with a chuckle. "I'm so used to seeing you as innocent and pure."

  "Well, now you know I'm not," said Echo with a smile. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Jay's. Jay nipped at Echo's lower lip. Echo parted his lips, allowing Jay to deepen the kiss. After a few minutes they broke apart. Jay was breathing heavily. 

  "Didn't — didn't know you had that in you, Echo," he said, smiling. "I kinda like it."

  "Thanks," said Echo. He collapsed on Jay, smiling and closing his eyes. 

  "Maybe we should take a nap like I told Nya we would," said Jay, relaxing and closing his eyes. "I'm tired."

  "I agree," said Echo. He positioned himself to where he could listen to Jay's heartbeat, eventually falling fast asleep on Jay's chest. Jay smiled and fell asleep not long after.

----

A/N: So there we go! My wonderful intro story to my Steampunk AU, which I think I'm going to call the Electrical Clogs AU (thanks to midnight---hollow for the name!). I was mainly using Oppo as a filler ship to kind of show how protective Zane is (I guess I could've done that without the ship but oh well, I felt like writing some Oppo). Hope you enjoyed!

[ourholly101love]

Chase the Lightning Inuyasha Chapter 3

The stew wasn't only good it was delicious. Inuyasha didn't tell her that though but he finished the bowl and didn't complain. she knew it was good he could tell by the triumphant look on her face. she had obviously forgiven him for teasing her because she smiled as she fed him. ignoring his protests that he was perfectly capable of feeding himself. it wasn't until the bowl was empty that he wondered if perhaps she had poisoned him......maybe that was her reason for her satisfied smile. Inuyasha gave her his best and coldest glare a look guaranteed to frighten young girls and to keep anyone at a distance. but she met his gaze fully and continued to smile, and he found he couldn't maintain the icy look.there was something about the way she was looking at him that melted his determination. She had the most beautiful eyes and the milkiest skin Inuyasha had to look away. She may be Sangos cousin but under the skin she was just like Kikyo. calculating, shallow daddies little girl, running away from a horrible fate of marring a man that cant dance. you might as well call me kagome,you know you can be of great help to me Inuyasha. *(Inuyasha raised an eyebrow) you know this area fairly well I would think?. are there many unattached ranchers near edo?Unattached as in unmarried Inuyasha asked coldly, kagome nodded. is that why you are here your looking for a husband? she nodded again, yes a rancher. why a rancher? have you seen the way miroku looks a sango? sure I live here most of the time or close by anyway." I want someone to look at me that way, scince miroku is a rancher i thought." you cant go by that Kagome, i myself am a rancher first off Miroku is a lousy rancher. getting married and having a family didn't cure his itchy feet, its just that now when he gets the urge to wander he packs up Sango and the twins and  takes them with him, Bankotsu dose all the work when it comes to the ranch and I guarantee Bankotsu is not your type. I’m certain there are others?. trust me kagome sango and miroku have a one in a million marriage your more likely to be struck by lightning then to find what your looking for in edo. As likely as my taking advice from a man who managed to alienate the entire village, from what Ive heard no one likes you and im begenning to see why.Nobody likes the truth Kagome, still set on a rancher? yes Kagome answered" perhaps you can introduce me to your father."Inuyasha didn't move and his look was impassive but he was certain she knew she had touched a nerve, my father is already married and although Inuyoukai often take more then one mate without marking them my father only allows one bitch to his household. Inuyasha  didn't give her a chance to respond the shocked look on her face was enough. but she deserved it. surely she knew, surely Sango had told her at least as much as she knew. nobody knew it all exceptInuyasha and his father and a few ghosts he tried to bury. I’m sorry I shouldnt have said that Inuyasha, Its fine but from now on just leave me alone...Inuyasha...I’m"..No! you dont know me, you have no clue what its like to be hated for what you are. Kagome certainly understood that he didn't see or speak to his Father or even acknowledge him in any way. Inuyasha slowly sank onto the bed and let his mind wander back through the years. Early'st memory was his mother Izayoi his human mother and the daughter of a wealthy lord she was beautiful with long black hair and twinkling brown eyes the family fell on hard times then she met the demon lord his father. but then they were sent away and his mother was killed.he was five when his mother was shot and killed he was almost killed as well. but was pulled away from his mothers body by his older half brother Sesshomaru. So he survived and was brought here to his dads ranch. when he was told of his mothers  death he had tears in his eyes Inuyasha thought they were tears of guilt for sending them away. Toga begged Inuyashato stay but he refused he always did, he didn't realize until much later that he was trying to protect him,he had almost forgotten the lessons in life when He met Kikyo He would never forget it again. Inuyasha lay in the soft bed caught between sleep and full awareness he'd slept far to much in the past two weeks.And now even though it was night and the cabin was quiet he couldn't ease into deep sleep. His side was healing slower then he thought it should, Kagome was finally letting him eat at the table and walk around the house. Allowing him that was what she said and god help him that is how it felt to  him. it was taking  much longer for him to get his strength back as well, he must have been closer to death then he thought for his body to be so slow at healing. Kagome fussed over him all day cleaning his wound. Her hands as soft and gentle as a breeze, her touch was fatherly never lingering against his skin he couldn't understand why he was so drawn to her.WHAT Are you doing out of bed?. Inuyasha turned to see her watching him from the doorway it was a question hes was becoming accustomed to. letting in some fresh air do you approve doctor?. She didn't answer hugging her night gown to herbody theres  Storm coming," Inuyasha moved away from the window there was another long low rumble of thunder and Kagome trembled with fear. I don't like storms she said softly befor my sister Yukari married I would sneak into her room when a storm came at night. After she left home I had to wait out the storms alone, I was much to old to run to Daddy to hide my face in his shoulder as I did when I was little, she looked him straight in the eyes. unsmiling Undaunting  I should have stayed in my room and buried my head under the covers but I thought I could sit with you for awhileI guess it was a silly notion. this is a good sturdy cabin a little wind and rain wont hurt it or blow it away.I know i’m not scared. your not a very good liar but you can stay with me.The Thunder was getting closer with each flash of lightning. Don’t get to close to the window, if you have to watch move the chair back. I don't want to watch. Then Thunder and lightning were closer and kagome jumped it's beautiful though. yes bright and beautiful but dangerous.she turned and looked at him this is highly improper you know?."she said with a smile sitting in here in the middle of the night. staying in the cabin without a chaperon very improper. but this is Colorado not Philadelphia Kagome.why are you afraid of storms? I don't know its not a rational fear. Its not like i’m afraid Ill be struck by lightning or the cabin. Its just I cant control my heart beats I shiver every time the thunder crashes a loud boom sounded above like that, what are you doing? I’m closing the window I could have done that now back in bed for you she turned to leave the room aren't you going to tuck me in Inuyasha said with a wry smile.I swear a twenty five year old baby is what I've got on my handsIt seems like Sango told you a lot about me didn't you two have anything better to talk about when she visited you?.I Assure you we had many conversations about more Interesting subjects then yourself Mr Takahashi you know why I came her and my plans they don't include a...a half civilized moody..Say it Kagome, Half breed was That The word on the tip of your tongue?"...Good Night Inuyasha she turned her back and walked out of the room.Inuyasha had hardly spoken to her since the night before. He believed she had rejected him because of his demon blood.He said That not her, Truth be told she liked him, maybe more then that but how could she tell him that?, she had allowed him to believe it simply by not denying it. That had been easier then trying to tell him the truth, But what is the truth?. the truth is she was attracted to him and why not? he's handsome and she knew enough about him to see through his scowls and frowns that she was falling in love with him.Not in her plans but true none the less she was in love with him.What are you doing chopping wood?", getting my strength back. His words were Harsh his eyes were fierce, That look doesn't scare me yasha and we already have enough wood, and your not getting your strength back your sapping what little you have". now get back into the house Inuyasha glared at her and she glared back at him. It was clear he was unaccustomed to allowing anyone tell him what to do. And he didn't like it not one bit. Im fine a little exercise will do me good. NO" Inuyasha raised an eyebrow No?"he took a step forward and she took a step back no" he took another step forward and she took another step back.stop that Inuyasha, stop what? you said yourself i’m nothing but a sick weak old man. Who should be confined to a bed or is there another reason you want me in bed?, you couldn't catch me if you tried, are you sure little girl she turned on her heels and ran as fast as she could which wasn't very fast. She could hear him behind her his feet landing on the grassy earth his breathing got closer and closer she expected him to stop at any moment. But he stayed with her until she felt his strong arm snake around her waist and they both fell to the ground the very breath knocked out of her as she hit the ground.  Inuyasha covered her body with his for a moment he didn't move, Inuyasha are you alright?, I’m fine, Then your right your all better.. No you were right I cant move, I told you so you can gloat later. can you move at all are you bleeding again?. Try to take a deep breath she pressed against him and They rolled together slowly till his weight was off of her.  she was on top of him Inuyasha was strong but he still need'ed her.she could feel his heart beating against her, Sango told her that one day Inuyasha would find a girl that wasn't frightened half to death of him and heaven help them both when that happened. he didn't scare her in the least she kissed him and pulled away before he had a chance to react,she didn't know why she did it Inuyasha’s eyes flew open what in the hell did you do that for?"sorry you just looked like you needed to be kissed. They might have stayed there awhile if they hadn't heard the sound of someone clearing their throat, suikotsu was standing near the porch. I brought you some groceries miss  Higarashi I'll just leave them in the kitchen, thank you Suikotsu its very kind of you. he turned and looked at her I warned you about inuyasha he said in a low voice. I know you did but...Suikotsus eyes widened as he looked over her shoulder she turned her head to see Inuyasha approaching them very slowly, I see you can move again?, yes babe he answered to her mortification i finallygot my strength back. His words seemed to have a double meaning he reached out and plucked a long blade of grass from her hair dropping it to the ground, as he placed his arm around her. Kagome saw the buckboard disappear with a sinking heart he didn't know why he did it, why he made certain suikotsu left with the wrong impression, actually he did know why he didn't want her to marry a rancher he knew it was foolish he didn't want to see her... watch her grow fat with another mans child that thought stopped  him completely it was time for him to get away from the ranch away from edo. what did it matter who she married?, it didn't not at all but some how he already felt like she was his. you know before the sunsets on edo everybody will think you and I, I don't give a damn what they think,"During the next few days the women of edo came to the cabin alone or with guests. bringing cakes,bread and smoked meats, As well as fresh vegetables. they arrived each and everyone of them hoping to find Kagome rolling in the grass like Suikotsu had told had kagome known that is why they came was to gather gossip yes she did did she care no not really, but she charmed them all. pouring cup after cup of tea, praising every sweet pastry and loaf of bread that past under her nose, sheasked for recipes for the vegetables. Inuyasha always made brief and memorable appearances whats for dinner babe? he came through shirtless of course. sorry I Didn't know you had company Kagome had to bite her lip to keep from shouting the devil you didn't! I m leaving tomorrow he said Solemnly still refusing to step aside, his arms were crossed over his chest as he blocked her path.Tomorrow really? really Inuyasha said Stepping aside for her to brush past him, as soon as I put you on the stage.I’m not going anywhere, yes you are your going home, I most certainly am not they could stand there all day and not finish this argument. If I have to tie you up and throw you on the back of the buckboard with your bags I will he turned away from her Kagome stood in the middle of the room speechless For the first time in her life. She couldn't go home not yet.Then Inuyasha stalked into the room scowling, pulled her against him with a low curse and kissed her. This was not a kiss on the cheek, This was a kiss that locked lips to hers and held her tight to his chest she could barely breath. His mouth was strong and demanding and then something changed. He still held her but not so tightly, his lips still pressed against hers she wrapped her arms around Inuyasha’s waist then he pulled away. He had the strangest look in his amber eyes unsure of what just happened. Bankotsu stood in the doorway I brought over the buckboard as you asked you sure you don't need me to drive?, Ill do it Inuyasha said coldly. sure will hate to see you leave Miss Higarashi...Kagome stared at Inuyash, he could smell the tears getting ready to fall but she held them back. Another one of your performances you saw him coming and that is why you kissed me?" you must be proud of yourself for making me think you cared, I’m not going anywhere bankotsu she said softly if you  want to leave then leave.Ill stay in town till Sango comes back.you will be on that stage, I’m not Kagome snapped and you cant make me your not my keeper,my Father or my Husband. as Kagome stormed out of the cabin she finally let the tears fall, what ever  had driven him to go back in the cabin  and kiss her? where had the uncontrollable urge come from? he knew she believed the kiss to be another one of his plots to ruin her reputation an embrace to startle Bankotsu nothing more, he would allow her to believe that was grateful in fact that she did even if his heart was breaking this was for the best,he had no explanation for the act otherwise none at all.but he couldn't shake the memory of the kiss it was like being caught in a storm of lightning coursing through his body,the thunder in his heart he had never experienced anything like it before. The feeling of losing control his past experience with women left him void of emotion but Kagome was all emotion he only to look at her face to know what she was feeling right now.She was angry, hurt but there was a twinkle in her eyes he didn't like it not at all, she was up to something. she hadn't begged him to stay since they left the cabin, what are you up to, I don't know what your talking about what makes you think I’m up to something." your going home." I suppose eventually Ill go home but not now,thats not what i said Kagome. well what will you do ride with me the whole way? you put me on the stage Ill just get off at the first stop, will you ride all the way there with me? will you carry me to my house hand me to my father like i was some sort of criminal, what business is it of yours where I go like I said you are not my keeper.I will go where I choose, you really should go home. Thats not your concern is it,? I was a fool to think you really cared but it was all a game to you and I thought Inu had honor I guess I was wrong,  I've decided to wait at the hotel Till sango returns do you have a problem with that? they road the rest of the way to town in silence.will the stage be on time? last week it was an hour late Jakotsu answered, I wont be on it Inuyasha so give up." If you put me on it Ill kick and scream and Ill be back on the street before it can move ten feet, she was smiling when she delivered her threat. Inuyasha looked at her a ticket for the stage and a length of rope Inuyasha turned and walked away. jakotsu was concerned about what was happening are you alright? as he placed his hand on kagomes shoulder, as well as can be expected, I guess Inuyashais determined to get rid of me . why I thought Yuka replayed I mean I would just die if a man talked to me that way."why is he making you leave? because he's a pig headed bully...who’s to say why men do what they do?.outside Inuyasha was surrounded by a half a dozen men Kagome knew something was wrong as she ran towards them stop it!"she yelled as she pushed her way through, what do you think your doing?!" Kagome grabbed the rifle from the front of the buckboard let him go she screamed, now four men looked at her back off Lady one of them said this doesn't concern you, i said let him go!"come on sweetheart you know you cant use that thing, your gonna hurt someone if you not careful, yeah you if you don't let him go this is the winchester 73 a most effective center fire repeating rifle its also called the 44-40 or 44 caliber kagome dropped the lever and pulled it back up my cousin sango taught me to shoot do you feel lucky asshole. everyone paled He burned Toga Takahashis barn," I’m certain you mistaken, Inuyasha didn't burn anything. he was seen riding away on that damn black stallion of his another man yelled. it was during the storm, then I know your man is mistaken Inuyasha was with meall that night he didn't go anywhere.so your claiming Inuyasha didn't leave the cabin that night even as you slept? naraku spoke up.we weren't sleeping at all that night and i can tell you he didn't go anywhere, they didn't care if Inuyasha was Innocent or not they wanted to get rid of him, and would do so with no more regret then they might squash a bug. so your willing to swearin front of the whole town that you and Inuyasha have been living there in sin." I never said that but you believe what you want If thats what you want to believe but the only way your going to hurt him is to kill me first and how will that look for your village a heartless village that hangs innocent men on a whim and young mothers are shot down in the street you may try to keepit secret but Sango will know and it will spread like wild fire, soon she had the crowd in the palm of her hand there was only one person not swayed Naraku walked to the front and prepared to slap the horse's, what about my baby Naraku stopped the Mob stared at herthere was shock in the crowd, even Inuyasha looked down at her with an unreadable fire in his eyes if you hang him what will happen to our baby, what will Sango say,Suikotsu spoke up lets think about this now keep are wits about us if she swears Inuyasha was home that night, I have to tell you to cut him down, Naraku stepped into the wagon just cant keep your hands off the human women can you?knocked up sangos Cousin now were going to have to watch you marry the pretty little thing don't seem fair.Your crazy Kagome I'd rather hang, you know Naraku said we would be doing Sango and Miroku a real disservice if we didnt take care of this pronto preacher? you available this afternoon? the minister nodded, that really not necessary theres no hury, nonsense theres no reason to delay this" five guns were trained on Inuyasha only this time they were leading him to a much different fate Kagome paced the small room, Id much rather wait for Sango she said to no one in particular...And give Inuyasha Takahashi a chance to disappear Yuka spoke up that wouldn’t be right Kagome, it would have been right to wait for Miroku and Sango they would have known what to do but it wasn't going to be allowed might as well make the best of it. It appears the whole village will be present for my wedding she said with more then a trace of amusement" wouldn't a reception Afterward be Appropriate"?She turned questioning eyes to the women around her, Yeah something outside in the field behind the church surly we could put something together some kind of party punch and sandwiches maybe some music we'll see what we can do.THE Church was full and every man in the room was armed the front pew was filled with men their six shooters and rifles trained on her groom a shot gun wedding with the entire town in attendance shops closed down the stage was quickly hurried through even the black smith was silent was this a wedding or funeral even though she felt like a princess Inuyasha looked very little like prince charming at the moment, she could feel anger radiating from him like the heat from a fire, Inuyasha leaned over and whispered, Ill get you for this little girl the minister faltered a bit but continued, this Is your fault mr Takahashi, now be quiet and pay attention to the ceremony, Ill strangle you with my bare hands if its the last thing i do, no you wont Kagome answered him. Inuyasha? the minister Interrupted I do?...Do I have a choise? he looked at the men with the guns, I guess i do the minister repeated the oath to the bride and kagome was more responsive then her groom and then the minister pronounced them man and wife. you may kiss the bride, your supposed to lift the veil and kiss me she whispered, Ive done all i’m going to do Inuyasha stated , the room was silent as everyone waited a little kiss on the cheek will suffice and so he did he gave Kagome what she obviously didn't expect he wrapped his arms around her lowered his lips to hers and gave her a searing kiss that rocked her very soul and his as well and then her words came to him its much more Interesting to give them what they least expect and so he did the guns in the front pew lowered and still he kissed her, the minister cleared his throat and still he kissed her men in the back rose to get a better look and were jerked back into their seats by their wives and still Inuyasha kissed her when he finally released her Kagome took a breath and Inuyasha gave her a Devilish grin. Inuyasha decided his wife was right it really was more fun to give people what they least expected but he knew it wasn't the only reason he kissed her, he kissed her because he wanted to, he kissed her because he needed to, In one quick motion Inuyasha picked her up and walked with long strides away from the minister, this comes later Yasha your supposed to walk me...shut up woman you are my wife now, and you will do as i say and if i want to carry you out of the church then...I haven’t had a chance to explain my plan. plan? this is all part of a plan?Inuyasha asked  well in a way,then Naraku walked up at least let me kiss the bride he spoke up with a grin.the man lowered his face to kagome even as she tried to move away from him but it wasn't necessary before he could touch her with his lips Naraku went flying backwards and landed on his ass in the dirt he barely had time to catch his breath when Inuyasha was lifting him by the throat, touch my mate again Ill kill you he had the attention of everyone there but no one came forward, Inuyasha heard whispers Naraku tried to kiss Lady Kagome, that Naraku never had any Manners, Inuyasha took care of him good and then Kagome was by his side as she glared at his terrified face trying to decide weather to hit him herself, you can let him go Yasha he didn't mean any harm he's just an Ill  mannered oaf.

[survivemiddleearth]

Episode 1: “Hobbits, we gonna slay this all the way to Isengard.” -JG

I’m back and better than ever!

Heylo! Who loves a pre-game confessional oh we do! I cannot wait for this season to be honest. I am finishing a season as we speak being in the final 3 so the adrenaline rush and hype is so real. I am a not a super fan of LOTR but I do love and enjoy the the stories. I read the books when I was in second grade and the saw the movies for the first time in 7th grade. My goal is to be like Frodo in this game, make myself known when it's really important and needed, then disappear when I am not, why make a target on myself when I don't need to. Hopefully the power of the ring won't consume and something wild happens.... eeks here goes nothing, FOR MIDDLE EARTH!

Ahh fuck Johnny is in this game he's gonna betray me I know it fml I just wanna win an org how hard omfg

This is my first org in 5 months and honestly I forget how to play. I'm just gonna do whatever and I do how I do, but I'm not gonna be scared to yeet people out of here.

Part of my strategy is to try and be social to everyone in the beginning. I want to try and have a conversation with everyone on my tribe as soon as possible and try to gain a slight favor so people think I have something to contribute to them if we happen to lose the first immunity challenge and go to tribal

First confession of a new game is always a lot. I haven’t played since…March? Maybe even earlier than that. And if you know me, you know there’s been a lot of drama surrounding me since then, so I’m definitely nervous to be back in the saddle and playing again. Pre-merge queen. Basically, on my tribe, I feel…neutral to nervous. I have Dylan R, who is my ORG child, so I should be able to work with him fairly easily. I’ve also hosted Eric, which could be good if he weren’t friends with so many people who don’t like me. Same boat with Vi. I’m hoping I can kind of work both of them to my side, but it might not be possible and I may just have to rely on Dylan keeping me in the loop. There’s also a newbie, which is usually a good sign. Finally, we have Johnny. I FEEL like Johnny has an issue with me from something, but I’m not 100% sure. I love reaching a point in my life where I can’t remember who hates me and why, but, hey, that’s running and destroying the biggest ORG series since Mains for you. As for the other tribes……..yikes on a bike. Aside from Zach, JG, and Stephen (more of my sons), we’re fairly stacked with people who would cut my throat without a second thought. Drew has seen me play before and we had a, uh, messy relationship in that game. I’m certain Sammy still hates me from Lago and also from The Drama since he’s friends with the core few people who hate me. Nick I don’t know, but he has “skinny” in his bio as a positive which means we probably won’t get along, plus he came from tengaged which can be a yikes. Crow I hosted for like three seconds in Emathia, so maybe he’ll have mercy on me. Dennis I think hates me from the Athena stuff. Bodhi I think hates me, and I’m not wild about him either. Roxy I know hates me but I don’t have any idea why since we’ve never spoken. Probably just more Athena Stuff. Hopefully I make merge with JG. That’s going to be my big hope for this season. Well. Idol hunting is going to be my lifeblood. Wish me luck, unless you hate me like everyone else.

So Drew in this game? Kill me with an axe right now. What the fuck is JG doing here? I'm finished, I was going to play nice but THREE zwooper people are on my tribe. MESS.

Small tribe, which means riskier tribals early on but its easier to get to know everyone. So far Roxy and.. dnn??? I like (I’ll check the cast reveal for what we should be calling dnn). JG and Sammy I know from other games, I feel I can trust JG a little, we’ll see. Sammy I don’t know I like to give people clean slates but almost every game we’ve been in he’s gone straight for me. Bodhi hasnt messaged me back yet :/

Hello ! Welcome to my first confession. Excited to exist. I haven’t met everyone in the tribe yet but I am playing with my old host so that’s funny. I don’t really have any interesting things to say so just. Hello. The first immunity challenge is one that I really didn’t do well in the first time I played so. Yikes. Whatever I’m still excited !!

Well hey! Got a clue on my very first idol hunt? But in a series so aggressively dominated by men, where the hell is "sisterhood" supposed to take me?

Honestly, I did not want to do the first challenge. I know I am good at it, but I didn't want to be the one responsible for losing for the tribe since its a hero challenge. I made up an excuse which is not a lie and is at the same time. Hopefully our tribe does well at the challenge!

This game so far is really stupid, I mean no talking during heats is fine but the fact that my tribe didn't offer any condolences or anything like "you tried" is rude and frankly, tragic.

You ever agree to face an Australian in an endurance challenge at midnight your time, 2pm his time? What a disaster for me

What are half the things mentioned here. Like what's a hobbit. I know its a movie but like, really? There better not be a quiz on LOTR or I am getting last place.

Yas!!! I love getting lucky and being on a winning tribe. First immunity lets go hobbits, we gonna slay this all the way to Isengard. So far I've mingled and stayed for tea with my hobbits and gotten to know them. Of course I'm excited to play with Stephen again, cool to finally meet Roxy and Bodhi. We shall see what will happen I'm anxiously, excitedly nervous. But let's go!

You know the most embarrassing part of losing that comp in 2 seconds? The fact that I almost called in sick to work bc I wanted to free my schedule for the day. Yeah that was a flop. If I get eliminated first that would be simultaneously hilarious and also very depressing. No one other than Eric and Jay have messaged me so I should probably like. Pop in and say hi

watches crow flop

My tribe is so...INACTIVE.

In this immunity challenge, I have no other option but to beat Vi if i dont, I will lose my spot in this game, I swear on it

Im deciding if I should tell Crow Run wants him out. I like Run but I gotta cover myself...

So uh...it’s kinda fuckin wild. We lost and don’t really have an easy vote because everyone’s active and ready to play the damn game. I’m fairly certain there’s a large majority though I don’t think anyone will be absolutely shocked about who goes home.

I'd like to start this seasons confessionals of with saying that I absolutely hate Bodhi. Since he took my Tom Bombadil and then told me, he had forgotten that he was cast for this season... LIKE COME ON ARE YOU SERIOUS, THATS MY AVATAR. After calming down I saw the tribe I was on. Bodhi (AJUSNKDIKWQJNE), Roxy, Sammy, Stephen and JG. I have played loads with Sammy and Roxy before. Stephen seems nice. Bodhi must die and JG is prolly the hardest person to talk to since I was in kindergarten. I mean. It should be that hard to give proper answers to your questions. MAYBE it was because he was busy playing the inferior BR game fortnite, but still come ON. I agree to play the challenge, but didn't need to actually do something in it, since Stephen and Sammy beasted it. The idolsearch first went SUCKY. because I went to bree ignored Aragorn, got durnk and got a 35 % DISADVANTAGE ON MY NEXT CHALLENGE (LIKE WHO THOUGHT OF THAT HIGH NUMBER) then at my next search I find out, that the other option I had, prolly would've given me an Idol... OH MAN PLEASE DONT LET IT BE GONE I WANT THAT.

You know I'm winning when my tribe wins immunity. Time to take the free time to make an alliance of my own. I have to choose who I want to trust for now.

okay so i haven’t made a confessional yet but I’m super excited to see some familiar faces in the game. I’ve played with Dennis before but I know that if I’m a threat to his game he will take me out so it’s a good person to stick with for now but idk if I can trust him in this game. JG is very friendly and chill but I’ve onkg played another game with him where he quit. He had a lot going on so I understood but I’m willing to work with him again if he’s willing. ROXY IS ON MY TRIBE AND SHE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND I KNOW SHE WILL NEVER VOTE ME OUT. SO I GOT HER AND IM EXCITED. Okay and who else? oh yes Stephen! Stephen is cool and I’m 100% down to work with him despite our past in orgs. I just don’t want him to think of me as an enemy. If we have to boot out someone I’d say bodhi would be the most obvious choice because he hasn’t been active...but bodhi is a fun player to play with I’m just hoping he becomes more active before our tribe decides to give him the boot. I see Crow in this game and he’s super nice and I’m so glad I’m playing with him and also Johnny is playing and I’m hoping he’s gonna want to work with me. Okay okay I’m done for now. Let the games begin.

CRAP i forgot to talk about immunity and idol search...okay sooooo i went heat 2 after Stephen won heat 1 and like i was expecting to be targeted bc if I won, my tribe would get immunity. However Dylan(I’m sorry if i umm spelled that wrong) forgot the period and Crow spoke out of turn or something and I won...I was shocked but glad that it didn’t last as long as the first heat. Oh and I searched for the idol and went to the bar or something and it turns out the item i was gonna get had been snatched before I had a chance....WE GOTTA THIEF IN HERE....I’m just trying to make it to merge so i need any advantage i can get.

Johnny just approached me for an alliance and I told him, "of course johnny! :)" But I am internally screaming like "nooooooo why meeee," because just before this game we were talking about how Johnny likes to betray everyone in orgs so now I'm like, please just let me win one org I got Ryan V casted in Bermuda you owe me.

The nice thing about not going to tribal council is that it really gives you the time to flex that social game and work on building up relationships, which is super important early in the game.

me doing this 4 hours before tribal is a mood but uhm ahem in conclusion, i've heard 8 names this round and let me breakdown how and why begin: i tell nick i think first boot should be someone who didn't compete, and then narrow it down to jayden or zach nick tells me he's been pushing for jayden and that drew is on board and is working on zach jayden comes to me saying he knows he's in trouble and asking me what to do, he reveals that runs ratted out nick about targeting him i tell nick runs ratted him out nick reveals to me that runs has been pushing me to everyone (confirmed by Drew, and later Jayden, as well) i confront rataways subtly and he insinuates that his loyalty is to me and that we're friends and my BS alarm goes flying off the charts rataways thinks he's sly but he's not end: im voting rataways and got confirmation from jayden and drew that they'd do the same....currently working on nick who has supposedly already told zach to vote runs as well if everybody minus rataways isn't a completely shady bitch, this should be an easy 5-1 with rataways thinking he somehow has votes on me and i'll probs get idoled out but w/e. i'm not going to lose my sanity trying to beg rataways not to vote me, idc. oh and i threw the immunity challenge cuz tribal seemed fun (and boi it is!)

Well I wasn’t the first person evicted so I consider this season an accomplishment. I’m trying to attach myself to Ford, since he’s completely new.

Alright hold on a second. 2nd day. 2nd conversation with JG. AND its like day & night. He seems pretty chill :). MAYBE HE WAS JUST BUSY WITH FORTNITE (what I as a gamer understand. I mean.. you gotta set priorities.. right?). Just wanted to clarify, so I don't come over as a dick at the end of the season. In case we end up being best friends *shrugs*